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The Numbers Hurt

Over the last year or so I’ve had so many conversations with officers about if this job is even worth it anymore. Officers that used to take such pride in putting on their uniform and coming in for their shift. Now they talk about how they could go somewhere else where they wouldn’t have to worry about making it home safely, they could make more money with a better retirement, and be less stressed. The badge they worked so hard to earn, now seems so easy to take off and walk away from. This breaks my heart.


These are officers who got into this profession because they wanted to make their community a safer place or wanted to help bridge the gap between citizens and law enforcement. These are officers who do their job with compassion and integrity. But I can see why they would want to walk away from it all. The good officers are tired of trying to prove themselves and their intentions. The good officers are tired from carrying all the weight they have to carry.


The numbers this year are tragic and alarming.

4 months into 2021, 95 officers have died in the line of duty.

19 were firearm related; 24 traffic related; 52 from other causes

In those same 4 months, 56 officers have taken their own life


Nothing about these numbers is okay. 2020 was said to be the deadliest year for law enforcement since 1974, losing 264 officers, and the numbers are already higher this year. The pandemic largely contributed to the high death toll last year, but I don’t think that will be the case this year.


For those that are still choosing to put on the uniform and come to work each day, these numbers are daunting. They hover over officers every moment of their shift. They further weigh down the already heavy burden they carry being a law enforcement officer. For the first time, I’m hearing officers say they are afraid when the big events roll around. These numbers cause worry and anxiety for not only the officer, but for their families that have to watch them walk out the door. These numbers are taking away a love for helping and for some, a childhood dream.


Yesterday I do what I often do and rode along with one of the officers. I saw some prime examples of officers that really wanted to help. I watched officers speak so compassionately and patiently with a woman who was having suicidal thoughts. She was so afraid to say anything to the officers because she did not want to be sent to a facility involuntarily. She wanted the help, but wanted to have some options about how to go about it. The officers reassured her and provided such a calming presence to her. They waited with her until her mother arrived and they knew she was safe.


The next call was to a mother who was having trouble with her children. I watched the two officers stand with the mother as she spoke about her struggles with her children since her husband passed away. She needed some extra support to get the children to understand what they had done wrong and didn’t know who to call. What she really seemed to need was to not feel alone as a parent in that moment. That is exactly what the officers offered her. They let her say all she needed to say, reinforced her message to the kids, and provided her some relief. The officers easily could have left upon arrival because it was not a police matter, but they gave her their undivided attention and, I believe, made her day a little better.


The final call of the day was to a motel where one of the guests did not have any further funds to stay, but was not checking out and leaving his room. When the officers arrived they found an older man that did not have another place to go. The officers helped him to consider options of what he could do and helped gather all of his stuff in his room. Once a decision was made, the officers gently helped the man into the patrol car and gave him a ride. Their time and effort most likely kept that man from sleeping on the street for the night.


So what do these stories have to do with the numbers? These are the officers who are going to be pushed out of law enforcement by the numbers and the pressures. It’s the good ones who go above and beyond who are going to walk away. The ones who are using the authority law enforcement gives them to do the wrong things are not going to be bothered by the current culture surrounding law enforcement. The people who do not deserve to wear the badge or deserve to be called a law enforcement officer are going to be the ones who are left. This breaks my heart.


Tomorrow starts Police Week. Police Week is a time when the lives of fallen officers are remembered and honored. There are normally local and national events, but those will be held at a later date. There are so many names to be read this year and so many families to think about. I worry about how many other names will be added by the time we get to Police Week next year. I also worry about something else we’ll have to consider next year at this time. How long will the list of names be that have given up their badge? How many officers will give in to this exhaustion and tiredness they are feeling after this last year? How many people will give up on the dream of law enforcement before they ever even start the process? What other losses will we be grieving on Police Week next year?


All of this being said, I’m not unaware that things need to change. I know there are problems and I know there are incredible tragedies that have taken place at the hands of officers. As someone who is privileged to get to watch the work of so many good officers, I just wanted to take a moment to share a little bit of what I see. I pray daily for officers to do their work with integrity and compassion, yet I also pray for their safety and for them to return home. If you know an officer who is still putting on their uniform and going to work, tell them you appreciate them and ask how you can be praying for them or showing your support. They need it right now!




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