The Law Enforcement Chaplain role is one that is pretty difficult to put into words. It’s easy to explain going out on a death scene to sit with a family or showing up to tell a family that someone died. In fact, I’ve fully adjusted to someone assuming something bad has happened because I walk into the room alongside an officer. I hear a lot of, “Uh oh, the chaplain’s here.” It’s pretty easy to describe being available for officers to speak with when needed. People understand that they see difficult things and need an outlet. Other aspects of the job don’t fit in a box as well and aren’t as easy to describe.
A couple weeks ago I was in a training with a woman named Dr. Naomi Paget. Naomi is incredible and has served alongside first responders in so many ways. She has also been on the frontlines of many natural disasters and crisis situations. One of her roles is as a chaplain for the FBI. In class she described the building to us. She talked about how her office wasn’t really in a convenient location, so she would drop her stuff there and then spend some time walking around. People that she encountered would sometimes ask, “What do you do here?” At first she wasn’t sure the best way to respond. Then she decided to say that she, “loiters with intent.” By that she means, she wanders around checking in with and talking to the agents. She hears when they’re laughing and can sense when things aren’t going so well. She builds relationships with them so that when things do get really difficult they already know each other and trust already exists. Building trust with first responders is extremely important and can be a difficult thing to do. That’s a part of the job that isn’t so easy to explain.
I love this because it’s such a good description of what I spend a lot of my time doing. To someone just looking, it might look like I’m just standing around not doing anything or even avoiding work. Being with the officers in the report room is one of my favorite things. The best time is when one shift is wrapping up their day and the other shift is getting ready to come on. It’s a great chance to hear what calls they went on and to hear the funny stories. In a sense, it’s similar to the feel of the whole family getting home in the evening and catching up about their day. With the guys coming in, it’s an opportunity to help start their night on a positive note and hear how they’re doing. I enjoy getting to be with them to tell them to have a good day. I feel like being in the mix helps them to remember that I’m here for them and walking alongside them. Loitering with intent definitely describes a big piece of what I do.
Unlike Naomi, I am fortunate that my office is in a great location. I’m right where the officers are when they are at the station. So, sometimes I might not be loitering, but might be sitting with intent. There are some great times of laughter and relationship building that go on in my office too. I’m so happy to have that space.
On Sunday I got to spend some time with a fire chaplain friend of mine, Wendy. I had the chance to go on a few calls with her. It was a fun chance to watch a chaplain in action since I can’t really watch myself. On one of the calls a wife was dealing with a husband having hallucinations and it was a very difficult situation for her. She knew he needed treatment and help of some sort, but didn’t know how to go about it. EMS checked him out and asked their usual questions. Since he could answer all of them, they couldn’t force him to go to the hospital. She was exhausted and at a loss of what to do at this point.
So Wendy stepped over toward her, listened to her concerns, and stood with her. She helped the wife to feel heard and like she wasn’t alone. Wendy offered the wife a phone number of a mental health crisis line to call and see what help they could offer her. The wife looked back at Wendy with an anxious look on her face. She responded by saying, “I can stand with you while you call them. I’ll be right here.” This was great because it not only offered her comfort, but helped her to take the needed action.
It was beautiful to see someone do that. One of the biggest struggles I had when I first started as a chaplain was learning to be present without needing to have an answer. I like being able to fix problems, but that doesn’t always happen right away in chaplaincy. Many of the situations and feelings are much bigger than can be “fixed” in the short time that you are with people. It was awesome to see the power that being with people has. I’ve written about it before, but I don’t usually get to watch it happen. Wendy wasn’t able to fix the wife’s situation on that call, but she absolutely made a difference for her. So in this instance, the answer to what do you do here would be I stand offering comfort.
I love getting to tell the story of what I get to do each day. It doesn’t always look the same as other jobs or even look productive, but it definitely makes a difference. If you wait until the officers are already in the midst of the difficulty to try to get to know them, it’s too late. When we come to times like we are in right now with Covid-19, this is when all of that loitering pays off. When times get tough, the officers already need to know you’re on their team and feel comfortable with you. The many jokes and stories shared before can turn into sharing of real struggles and even tears shed in those tough times. It's when the officers need to know that someone will stand with them if they have to do something really hard. The time invested is also what makes officers want to call you and have you out on scenes to work alongside them. Those are the things I get to do here and I wouldn’t trade it for anything!