First impressions are an interesting thing. We work hard to make a good first impression when we’re trying to get a job, when we’re meeting someone important, on a first date, etc. Then of course there are times when first impressions are made that we don’t even think about them. First impressions have been a really funny thing with the police officers and I wanted to take a second to share some of the stories with you.
The best one is one of the male officers that works nights. We’ll call him Officer B. I had seen him several times at lineup (the meeting right before they go out on shift), but had not really talked with him. He’s a pretty tall guy and is fairly quiet, so I assumed he was pretty serious. One particular night was very memorable with Officer B. Walking into lineup is much like walking into church or the lunchroom. There is an unspoken seating arrangement and you don’t mess with it. I had been going to lineup enough at this point to be very aware of the assigned seats. I didn’t think that Officer B was working that night, so I sat in his seat. A few moments later he walked in the room, so I apologized and began to stand up. He told me it was fine and I could stay there. He sat down in the seat next to me. He looked over at me with a very serious expression on his face and said, “Just know that if anything happens to me tonight it’s all your fault.” I won’t lie, I was pretty intimated in that moment and regretted my decision to sit in that chair. I prayed for a little extra protection for that officer that night.
The thing about first impressions is that they are not always correct. While you might not get a second chance to make a first impression, there should always be opportunity to change that impression. I learned with Officer B and many others that my first impression of them was a little off base. A couple of months after the stolen seat incident I got a ride back to the station with Officer B. I got in the car planning to be very quiet. Officer B started talking and I think he cracked a couple of jokes. I laughed and realized he was a lot more easy going than I first thought. He talked about his family and the fun times he has with his girls. I was in his car for less than an hour, but it was enough time to completely change my opinion of him. Now he’s one of the officers that I really enjoy riding with.
Another one that I had a wrong first impression of was Officer Sanderson. Officer Sanderson would always show up to lineup looking so serious and almost angry to be at work. He had his car already because of his K9 Abba, so, he would come in, listen to what was said, and then often head straight out to his car and go to work. He was someone that I assumed I would never have the chance to ride with. As I spent more time at the department I got to know more of his story and learned about the extremely difficult battle he was fighting with cancer. I learned that often times he came into work not feeling well at all and that was probably what I was seeing. I also happened to live just down the street from Officer Sanderson. I started seeing a German Sheppard walking the streets occasionally and it made me wonder if it was his dog Abba. I saw him come home one day and decided to be stalkerish and walk down the street and talk to him. I asked him if the dog was Abba and he told me she is never outside without him watching her and I was relieved. After that we got to have a great conversation. Sanderson gave me his number and told me to call if I ever needed anything. He was so kind and easy to talk to, which is not what I expected at first. It wasn’t long after that conversation that I got to ride with him and had a blast. I got to hear some great stories of his time as an officer and got to see how loved he was. I saw how much he loved his job and how he truly wanted to help others. I was so thankful to have a chance to ride with him two times before he lost his battle with cancer.
I could share a lot more stories of officers that I totally had labeled incorrectly. Many of them that seemed unapproachable or “stuffy” have ended up being some of the ones that I have the best conversations with. I know the reason I am able to see beyond the first impression is because of the time that I have with the officers. They get time to figure me out and learn that they can trust me and I get opportunities to hear stories about them as people and not just police officers.
This becomes a whole different scenario when officers and citizens interact out in the community though. Those first impression moments are a little different. If an officer approaches someone and comes off as too “soft” or “relaxed”, his or her authority might not be taken seriously. Because of this the citizen might instead see them as being arrogant or rude. If the citizen is having a rough day and is short with the officer, they might be seen as being disrespectful. Often times that impression is made within just moments and there is not much of an opportunity to change it. Of course there are preconceived notions and other things that go into our impression at that moment, but that’s a whole other topic.
I know this has made me think about my patience with people and my willingness to see beyond just a moment. Am I open to taking the time to get to know who they really are or to learn about the circumstances that could be contributing to their mood in that moment? I know doing this will continue to leave me pleasantly surprised and open my eyes to things about people that I might not have been able to see. I know plenty of people have offered the same patience and grace to get to know me beyond the first impression and I’m so grateful. I know offering that to others will not steer me wrong.